Boonville Getaway: Unbeatable Deals at Holiday Inn Express!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into a deep dive of [Hotel Name]! Forget fluffy PR talk; this is the real deal, warts and all, from a very opinionated (and somewhat sleep-deprived) traveler. Let's see if this place is actually a luxury stay, or just a fancy building with a price tag.
First Impressions: The Grand Entrance & Accessibility – Or Lack Thereof?
The hotel's website promises the moon and the stars, but let's start with the basics: Accessibility. This is a HUGE deal for me, because, you know, humanity exists in all shapes and sizes. And with that, here's the first HUGE red flag! I will be frank. The details included on the website are not really helpful.
Now, let's get into the actual hotel. I’ll be brutally honest, it's all a little too… shiny. The lobby is gorgeous, don't get me wrong, but it feels a bit sterile. Where's the soul?! I mean, is there even a plant? Ah, there's the problem, the hotel feels… too perfect. Like a movie set, not a place where people actually… live. It's got that cold, modern aesthetic.
Accessibility and Those Annoying Little Details
Wheelchair Accessible: Well, they claim it is. I saw elevators, which is a good start. But the devil is in the details. Are the ramps actually ramps, or just slightly sloped decorative things? And what about the bathrooms? Wide doorways? Grab bars? I didn’t get a chance to test, but their info is not clear if you're thinking of bring a wheelchair user.
Facilities for Disabled Guests: Again, the website is vague. "Facilities" is a broad term. What specific facilities are we talking about? Hearing loops? Braille signage? A proper ramp from the lobby bar into… well, anything? More digging is required.
Elevator: Yes, there are elevators. Thank god. I'm not trying to hike up 20 floors after a long day.
General Thoughts on Accessibility: It's a mixed bag. The basic infrastructure seems promising, but I can't vouch for the details without a serious inspection. Potential guests with accessibility needs should call in and grill the staff--don't trust website fluff!
Internet – The Modern Traveler’s Oxygen
Okay, let’s be frank: without reliable internet, you might as well be living in the Dark Ages.
- Free Wi-Fi in All Rooms!: Hallelujah! This is a must, and they deliver.
- Internet Access, Internet [LAN], Internet services: Okay, what is LAN? I'm sure all the tech savvy people are rolling their eyes at me right now--but frankly, I am not tech savvy--a simple, fast wifi is all I need. It's a bonus if they also offer a LAN connection.
- Wi-Fi in Public Areas: Check. Because sometimes you just want to lounge in the lobby and people-watch while doom-scrolling.
Things to Do (aka The "Am I Bored Yet?" Checklist)
Pool with View: Yes! Big plus. What’s the point of a hotel if you can’t pretend to casually sip cocktails while looking at something beautiful?
Swimming pool [outdoor], Swimming pool: Sounds great, though I hope they aren't so packed you feel like you're swimming in a can of sardines.
Fitness center, Gym/fitness: Gotta work off that room service somehow. Let's see if the equipment is up-to-date, or if it's the kind of gym where the treadmills are older than I am!
Spa, Spa/sauna, Sauna, Steamroom: A spa… I need it. Seriously, after that long flight…sign me up. Let's pray these are actually relaxing and not just another overly air-conditioned room.
Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath, Massage: I am a sucker for a good massage. That is the dream.
Things to do Okay, now I can't tell if the hotel will be interesting or if I will be bored out of my mind. I'm hoping more.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking – Where Dreams (and Calories) are Made
Food is crucial. A bad hotel meal can ruin an entire experience. I'm a hungry traveler, so let's see what they've got:
Restaurants: More than one restaurant is always a good sign. Variety is the spice of life, especially when you're too lazy to leave the hotel.
A la carte in restaurant, Buffet in restaurant: Choices, choices! A la carte is great for options, buffet is great for convenience. I'm looking forward to being overwhelmed.
Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant: This looks great!
Bar, Poolside bar, Coffee shop, Snack bar: Essential. I need access to caffeine and cocktails at all times. Don't judge.
Room service [24-hour]: This is a luxury I always appreciate. Late-night cravings, anyone?
Breakfast in room, Breakfast takeaway service: I love breakfast! But I also love staying in bed.
Alternative meal arrangement: Good if your have dietary restrictions.
Bottle of water, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Desserts in restaurant, Salad in restaurant, Soup in restaurant: All the basics for a good time.
Breakfast [buffet]: Always appreciate a good hotel buffet.
Happy Hour: I am very much looking forward to this.
International cuisine in restaurant: Always a plus.
Safe dining setup: Okay great. I'll sleep better knowing staff are taking safety seriously.
Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Essential for my health, which is very important to me.
Individually-wrapped food options: I appreciate and respect this.
Dining, drinking, and snacking This is going well so far, I'm hoping the food is good.
Cleanliness and Safety – Because Nobody Wants Bed Bugs
Anti-viral cleaning products: Excellent. Necessary in these times.
Cashless payment service: Convenient and safer.
Daily disinfection in common areas Great.
Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit: Good to have.
Hand sanitizer: Essential.
Hot water linen and laundry washing: Good.
Hygiene certification, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: I like the sound of that.
Professional-grade sanitizing services Always a plus.
Room sanitization opt-out available: Okay, good to know.
Rooms sanitized between stays Good.
Staff trained in safety protocol: Good to know.
Sterilizing equipment: I want all of this.
Cleanliness and safety This sounds great, very encouraging.
Services and Conveniences – The Little Things That Matter
These can make or break a stay.
Concierge, 24-hour Front Desk, Doorman: Essential. The concierge can make reservations, get you directions, and generally save your sanity.
Luggage storage, Daily housekeeping, Ironing service, Laundry service, Dry cleaning: The usual – and necessary – conveniences.
Room service [24-hour]: This is a luxury I always appreciate. Late-night cravings, anyone?
Currency exchange, Cash withdrawal, Convenience store: Because sometimes you just need a snack at 3 AM.
Gift/souvenir shop: Good if you're stuck there for the holidays and forgot to buy gifts.
Elevator: Elevator is a must.
Business facilities: Good if you are working.
Facilities for disabled guests I'm gonna check this out.
Invoice provided: Very helpful during my stay.
Services and conveniences This looks great.
For the Kids – Family-Friendly or a No-Go?
- Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: I don’t have kids, but I appreciate that they cater to families.
- For the kids This seems excellent.
Available in All Rooms – The Room Itself
This is where it all comes down to:
- Air conditioning, Air conditioning in public area: YES!
- **Alarm clock, Blackout curtains, Bathrobes, Bathtub, Bathroom phone, Bed, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area
Alright, buckle up buttercup, because this ain't your grandma's itinerary. This is… my Boonville, Missouri, Holiday Inn Express adventure. And trust me, it’s been a ride.
Day 0: Pre-Trip Panic & Pizza (aka, the "Before Times")
- 8:00 PM: Okay, deep breaths. Boonville. Why Boonville? Don't ask. Let's just say a certain someone (moi!) had a very specific, very obscure research project about… well, it's not important. What is important is that I booked this trip like a week ago, and I'm only now realizing I haven't packed. Cue the internal screaming.
- 8:30 PM: Pizza, the ultimate pre-adventure fuel. Ordered a large, extra cheese, because logic and packing are for the weak.
- 9:00 PM - 11:00 PM: Throw clothes in a suitcase. Pray I remembered everything. Suspect I didn't. Mentally rehearse losing my car keys, and start questioning all life choices. This includes finally, and fully, accepting my crippling love of pizza.
Day 1: Arrival and the Relentless Pursuit of Coffee (aka, "Boonville, Here I Come… Eventually")
- 7:00 AM: Alarm. Ugh. Should've set two. Or ten. Drag myself, kicking and screaming (internally, of course, gotta maintain a shred of dignity), out of bed.
- 8:00 AM: Road trip! The car's packed, the coffee is weak (thank God for the Holiday Inn Express breakfast!), and the GPS is screaming directions at me. I hope to god this little town is worth it…
- 12:00 PM: Arrive at the Holiday Inn Express Boonville By IHG (which, let's be honest, is a mouthful). The lobby is surprisingly… pleasant. Not exactly the Ritz, but clean, and the staff are friendly. Score! They even have those little cookies. I may or may not have eaten three. (Don't judge.)
- 12:30 PM: Room check. Standard hotel room. Bed seems comfy. Shower… will it deliver? Asking the real questions here.
- 1:00 PM - 2:00 PM: Coffee-fueled mission. The complimentary breakfast bar is… well, it's there. The coffee is, blessedly, strong. Fueling up for the day, and the research deep dive which, let's be honest, is more like a research dribble.
- 2:30 PM - 5:00 PM: The reason for this whole shebang: the research. Okay, truth be told, I spent most of this time getting lost in the historical society. I wandered for ages with my phone pressed to my ear trying to find the right person to talk to, and my brain was mush. Finally, the woman I needed turned up, bless her heart, and she was a font of local knowledge. I spent a good hour talking to her, making notes furiously, and trying to look like I knew what I was doing. Spoiler: I don't.
- 5:00 PM-6:00 PM: Back at the hotel and I am beat. My poor brain feels like it has been put in a washing machine. And the hunger is intense. I need a good meal to restore my soul from the historical society experience.
- 6:30 PM: Dinner. And I chose… a local burger joint! Classic. It was called "The Lucky Lady" (seriously, I loved the name). The burger was decent, the fries were… well, they were fries. The best part? The people. The place was packed, everyone was laughing, and I felt a little less like a weirdo wandering around. Maybe Boonville isn't so bad after all.
- 8:00 PM - 10:00 PM: Back at the hotel. Writing notes, organizing the chaos that is my research. Seriously, it's like a crime scene exploded in my notebook. I'm starting to feel like my purpose is really to find this "thing". And… the bed is calling.
Day 2: "The Boonville Blues" & Deep Fried Regret (aka "Embracing the Mess")
- 7:00 AM: Alarm. Nope. Not ready.
- 7:30 AM: Okay, now. The coffee is calling again… but I might skip the breakfast this morning. I think I should probably leave my heart rate alone for a bit today.
- 8:00 AM - 12:00 PM: Deep dive into the research at the local museum. It’s a charming little hole-in-the-wall, overflowing with local history artifacts. The guide was… enthusiastic. A little too enthusiastic. I was practically being force-fed information. (Don't get me wrong, it was cool, but I’m more of a wander-and-absorb-at-my-own-pace kind of person).
- 12:00 PM: Lunch. (This is when things go off the rails, slightly). Found a mom-and-pop diner that looked like it had been around since the beginning of time. I ordered, and the friendly waitress practically dared me to go for the daily special: Deep-fried everything.
- 1:00 PM: My body's telling me some things, but the food was so delicious, and I am so tired (did I mention I haven't slept in this town?) that for all intents and purposes I am still recovering.
- 2:00 PM - 4:00 PM: Rest and digest. (And question life choices). Back at the hotel, I was so full! I collapsed on the bed, regretting the deep-fried extravaganza. The research? Still a mess. My notes? An indecipherable jumble.
- 4:00 PM - 5:30 PM: Trying to make sense of the research (again). Failing miserably. Starting to feel the "Boonville Blues." This trip is becoming a comedy of errors.
- 6:00 PM: More local food. This time, something a little less… deep-fried. I walk around the town, and I found a place called "The Blue Heron" which has a nice atmosphere. It's the kind of place where you sit at the bar and listen to the locals chat about their lives. I feel very welcomed and I have a great conversation.
- 8:00 PM: Back to the hotel. I'm exhausted, my brain feels like it's been run through a meat grinder, and I'm pretty sure I've eaten the equivalent of a small cow.
- 9:00 PM: I'm going to have a terrible night, a terrible tomorrow, and a terrible day tomorrow I see. It's not even remotely worth it to sleep.
Day 3: Departure & Unanswered Questions (aka, "Leaving Boonville… With More Questions Than Answers")
- 7:00 AM: Alarm. The sun is blinding… and it's calling to leave.
- 7:30 AM: Coffee- the absolute savior and hero.
- 8:00 AM - 9:00 AM: A frantic rush to pack. I'm pretty sure I'm leaving more behind than I'm taking with me. That's fine, right?
- 9:00 AM - 10:00 AM: Breakfast at the Holiday Inn Express. It's a bittersweet moment: the last mini-muffin.
- 10:00 AM: Check out. The staff waves goodbye with genuine smiles. (They're probably glad to be rid of me).
- 10:30 AM - 2:00 PM: One last, desperate attempt to collect my thoughts and research notes. The information is still a jumbled mess, but I have a much better understanding of where the keys are now!
- 2:00 PM: Goodbye, Boonville! I have no idea what I learned, what the point of this trip was, or, frankly, where I'm going next. All I know is, I survived.
- 3:00 PM: After a long drive, and a lot of coffee, I am finally home. And the question begins again.
- The End… (or Is It?)
This itinerary is not perfect. It's a chaotic mess. It's me. And sometimes, that's all that matters.
Carson's BEST Kept Secret: Rodeway Inn LA South!
So, like, what even IS this whole FAQ thing? Seriously.
Ugh, fine, the basics. An FAQ – Frequently Asked Questions. It's supposed to be a collection of stuff people ask a lot, right? Designed to… *save time*? In theory. Honestly, sometimes I swear these things create MORE questions. I mean, if I’m asking about it, shouldn't they just freaking know? Anyway, it’s a list, more or less. I tried to keep it concise. Kind of. Maybe. We’ll see.
Okay, and *why* is this FAQ even here? What's the point?
Alright, you got me. Look, I had to write *something*. And what’s the most, well, *standard* thing to do when creating something? A freaking FAQ! Plus, it's like, *supposed* to provide answers and stuff. I *guess* it's good. Maybe. I hope it's good. Did I overthink it? Absolutely. The point is... to try and help. Hopefully. Please tell me if it sucks. Actually, no, please tell me if it's *good*.
Are these *really* "frequently asked" questions? Because I haven't asked most of these.
That's a fair point. Look, "frequently asked" is a generous description. Let's just say these are questions *I thought* you might have. OR questions someone, *somewhere* *eventually* might have. Or, and I hate to admit this, questions *I* wanted to answer in the first place. Basically, it means I'm making stuff up. But hey, at least it's honest, right? Right?! Ugh, I'm a liar already.
What's the deal with those weird formatting things? The '' and all that. What even IS that stuff?
Okay, here we go... the *technical* stuff. That nonsense is called… structural markup. *Yawn.* Basically, it's like… giving the computer behind the scenes a special set of directions. It tells it, "Hey, this is an FAQ page! These are the questions! These are the answers!" It’s for SEO. It *should* help things show up in search engines. Which is good, *I guess*. Because who *doesn't* want to show up in search engines? I spent hours trying to get this right. Hours! And now, who knows if it'll actually *work*? The internet is so… *unpredictable*.
How do I… I don't know… get help? Or, like, contact someone?
Alright, *this* is where I realize I probably should've set up a contact form or something. Oops. Look, I'm just... winging it, okay? If you need help, well... uh... good luck? Just kidding! (Mostly.) Seriously, though, and I *really* hate to suggest this... maybe try a search engine? Yeah, that feels *super* lazy even to me. I should probably add something here later. I'm on it. Eventually. Sorry.
Who even wrote all this drivel?
Oh, you wanna know *me*, huh? Look, I'm just a person, okay? A person who, apparently, has way too much time on their hands and a slight obsession with overthinking everything. And honestly, the idea of having a "persona" or some carefully crafted "voice" is… exhausting. So, yeah, it's me. I'm the one who did this. I'm also the one who made that weird typo in question three. It's all me. You can deal with it. Or not. Totally up to you.
But… *why* this formatting in HTML? Shouldn't you use a normal editor?
You know what? That's a good question! And the answer is... because I *felt like it*! Seriously! I wanted to see if I *could*. And also, I'm using it as a chance to actually use HTML! It's like… a mini-project within a project. It's more fun than just a boring text editor. I learned a lot, even if it was sometimes painfully slow. I’m still learning. Plus, now I can be all, "Oh, yeah, I know HTML!" Don't judge me.
What if I have a *really* specific question? Like, something super obscure?
Oh, man. Okay, so, firstly, that's my worst nightmare. Because, chances are, I *probably* don't know the answer. It's a vast internet out there, and I’m just one person. One *very* flawed person. Try… Google it? Or, maybe, hit up some forums? I'm not exactly the authority on… anything, really. But listen if you have a question, let me know anyway! Even if the answer is "I don't know, sorry" it is still helpful!
The future! What is the future?
Okay, future… woah. Okay, look. I have *no* idea. I’m kinda figuring this whole thing out as I go. I guess the future of my understanding of... FAQs is… more learning? More practice? More coffee? Seriously, the coffee’s crucial. Okay, I’ll try to keep going. Just… don’t expect anything magical. Maybe I'll add more stuff. Maybe not. The future’s a fickle beast.
This is… a bit rambling, isn't it?
*Yes*. Yes, it is. And you know what? I'm not even sorry! I mean, I *should* be. I *probably* should've been more… professional. Concise. To the point. But… where's the fun in that? Sometimes you just gotta ramble. Sometimes you have to just…Honeymoon Havenst
Okay, here we go... the *technical* stuff. That nonsense is called… structural markup. *Yawn.* Basically, it's like… giving the computer behind the scenes a special set of directions. It tells it, "Hey, this is an FAQ page! These are the questions! These are the answers!" It’s for SEO. It *should* help things show up in search engines. Which is good, *I guess*. Because who *doesn't* want to show up in search engines? I spent hours trying to get this right. Hours! And now, who knows if it'll actually *work*? The internet is so… *unpredictable*.
How do I… I don't know… get help? Or, like, contact someone?
Alright, *this* is where I realize I probably should've set up a contact form or something. Oops. Look, I'm just... winging it, okay? If you need help, well... uh... good luck? Just kidding! (Mostly.) Seriously, though, and I *really* hate to suggest this... maybe try a search engine? Yeah, that feels *super* lazy even to me. I should probably add something here later. I'm on it. Eventually. Sorry.
Who even wrote all this drivel?
Oh, you wanna know *me*, huh? Look, I'm just a person, okay? A person who, apparently, has way too much time on their hands and a slight obsession with overthinking everything. And honestly, the idea of having a "persona" or some carefully crafted "voice" is… exhausting. So, yeah, it's me. I'm the one who did this. I'm also the one who made that weird typo in question three. It's all me. You can deal with it. Or not. Totally up to you.
But… *why* this formatting in HTML? Shouldn't you use a normal editor?
You know what? That's a good question! And the answer is... because I *felt like it*! Seriously! I wanted to see if I *could*. And also, I'm using it as a chance to actually use HTML! It's like… a mini-project within a project. It's more fun than just a boring text editor. I learned a lot, even if it was sometimes painfully slow. I’m still learning. Plus, now I can be all, "Oh, yeah, I know HTML!" Don't judge me.
What if I have a *really* specific question? Like, something super obscure?
Oh, man. Okay, so, firstly, that's my worst nightmare. Because, chances are, I *probably* don't know the answer. It's a vast internet out there, and I’m just one person. One *very* flawed person. Try… Google it? Or, maybe, hit up some forums? I'm not exactly the authority on… anything, really. But listen if you have a question, let me know anyway! Even if the answer is "I don't know, sorry" it is still helpful!
The future! What is the future?
Okay, future… woah. Okay, look. I have *no* idea. I’m kinda figuring this whole thing out as I go. I guess the future of my understanding of... FAQs is… more learning? More practice? More coffee? Seriously, the coffee’s crucial. Okay, I’ll try to keep going. Just… don’t expect anything magical. Maybe I'll add more stuff. Maybe not. The future’s a fickle beast.
This is… a bit rambling, isn't it?
*Yes*. Yes, it is. And you know what? I'm not even sorry! I mean, I *should* be. I *probably* should've been more… professional. Concise. To the point. But… where's the fun in that? Sometimes you just gotta ramble. Sometimes you have to just…Honeymoon Havenst
