Denver's BEST Kept Secret: Holiday Inn Parker - Unbelievable Deals!
Okay, buckle up buttercups. This isn't your average, sterile hotel review. We're diving HEADFIRST into with a whole lotta messy, honest, and hopefully, hilarious truth bombs. Let’s see what this place REALLY has to offer, shall we?
First Impressions & The Accessibility Tango:
So, with? Right. Let's start with the soul-crushing basics: Accessibility. This is HUGE, people. Seriously. And it's where hotels often… well, they fail.
- Wheelchair Accessible? I hope so. We're going to assume yes, given the laundry list of amenities. But I'M paranoid. I always call and ask "Specifically, what happens if someone needs wheelchair access to the pool?" (Because, let's be honest, a ramp isn't always enough.)
- Facilities for Disabled Guests: See above. Demand specific answers! Don't just rely on a checklist.
- Elevator: Phew. Good. Definitely need an elevator.
- CCTV in common areas & CCTV outside property: Always a plus. Makes me feel slightly less like I wandered into a horror movie.
- Exterior corridor: Eh. Depends. In the heat of the summer, I'd like to have indoors access.
The Internet Angst & Wi-Fi Wonderland (Or Wasteland?):
Okay, internet. This is another make-or-break situation. I HAVE TO WORK. I NEED DATA.
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! YES! Praise the WiFi gods! That's mandatory now.
- Internet & Internet [LAN]. Great! Options! Flexibility! But will it actually work? I've had more meltdowns over bad hotel Wi-Fi than I care to admit. The stress sweats are REAL.
- Wi-Fi in public areas. Essential. Especially if the in-room Wi-Fi is, you know, a digital black hole.
- Wi-Fi for special events. Probably means a dedicated network? Good thinking. Need to know if they can handle a conference call when my boss is watching.
Things to Do (Boredom Be Gone!):
Alright, let's talk fun. Or, ya know, the semblance of fun that a hotel can offer.
Things to do, ways to relax: This is where the hotel REALLY sells itself. Let's see…
- Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor], Pool with view: YES! If this pool has a gorgeous view, I'm in! The photo is critical. Pool with a view is a MUST.
- Fitness center, Gym/fitness: Gotta work off all the free breakfast (more on that later). Hope it's got actual equipment, not just a treadmill from 1987.
- Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Sauna, Massage, Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath: Okay, now we're talking. Spa stuff can be hit or miss. I want a therapist knows more than the basics. And, please, no elevator music!
- Couple's room: hmm… could be nice! Is it actually romantic, not just a bigger room?
- Proposal spot LOL. I'm single, but I appreciate the thought! (Maybe?)
Cleanliness & Safety - The Anti-Germ War:
This is… kinda important, especially now!
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment: Okay, they're taking this seriously. I like that. Gotta feel safe.
- Hot water linen and laundry washing: Also good. Clean sheets are a must.
- Hand sanitizer: Yep. Everywhere. Good.
- First aid kit: Always good, especially if you accidentally scrape your knee on the aforementioned ancient treadmill.
- Doctor/nurse on call: Relief.
Dining, Drinking & Snacking - Belly Up!
Food. The true test of any hotel. (And how I judge most things, let’s be honest.)
- Restaurants, Coffee shop, Poolside bar, Bar, Snack bar: OPTIONS! Gotta love options.
- Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant, Asian breakfast, Western breakfast: Buffet? Okay, I'm cautiously optimistic. Buffets can be amazing… or a petri dish of sadness.
- Breakfast in room, Breakfast takeaway service, Room service [24-hour]: HELL YES! Especially that 24-hour room service. Midnight pizza is a life necessity.
- A la carte in restaurant, Alternative meal arrangement, Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant, Salad in restaurant, Soup in restaurant, Desserts in restaurant: This is a good selection
- Bottle of water: Always a win. Hydration is key.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant, Essential condiments: Good! Coffee is LIFE. Basic condiments are good. I hate bland food.
- Happy hour: YES!
- Safe dining setup: I'm looking for spaced tables. This one has to be done well - a bad dining experience is a bad start to the day.
Services & Conveniences - The Life Savers:
What makes a hotel actually comfortable? This.
- Air conditioning in public area: Essential! Walking into a hot entrance? Deal breaker!
- Cash withdrawal, Currency exchange: Always important.
- Concierge, Doorman: I like a doorman!
- Contactless check-in/out: Necessary now.
- Convenience store: Good! Always forget something.
- Daily housekeeping, Ironing service, Laundry service: A lifesaver.
- Elevator: (said it before, it bears repeating).
- Invoice provided, Luggage storage, Safety deposit boxes: Yep, standard, but good.
- Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Projector/LED display: Okay, they host a lot of events. Sounds like a busy place.
- Gift/souvenir shop: Useful and fun!
- Smoking area: For all the smokers.
- Terrace: Nice!
For the Kids (Bless Their Tiny Hearts):
- Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: Good! I don't have kids, but if you do, this is important.
Getting Around – The Mobility Checklist:
- Airport transfer, Taxi service, Valet parking: Useful, but I'd still Uber, tbh
- Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Bicycle parking: Free parking? GREAT!
Available in All Rooms – The In-Room Essentials:
- Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens: Okay, yes, that’s everything right? This is a lot!
Okay, Let's Get Real: The Offer (Because We Need to Book This Thing!):
Alright, so we know… a lot. This looks promising. Now, how do we actually get our butts in a room? Let's craft a super effective offer.
Headline: Escape to Paradise at with – Where Luxury Meets Convenience & You Get Your Sanity Back!
Body:
Tired of hotels that promise the world and deliver… well, less? with is different. We’re talking legit relaxation with all the modern conveniences that make your trip seamless.
Here's what you'll love:
- Unplug (and then plug back in!): Stay connected with FREE Wi-Fi everywhere, and work in peace with the rooms. You'll have the choice to be off the grid or fully integrated.
- Spa bliss awaits: Indulge in our top-rated spa. Massage? Check. Sauna? Check. The best body treatment you've ever had? Possibly.
- Eat Like a King (or Queen): From gourmet dining to casual poolside snacks, and 2
Okay, buckle up, buttercups. We’re not going for pristine, Instagram-perfect itineraries here. We’re aiming for the glorious, chaotic truth of travel! This is my (hypothetical) Parker, Colorado, adventure… warts and all. And yeah, it's messy.
Holiday Inn Denver-Parker-E470/Parker Road - My "Home Base" (Ha!)
Let's be honest, the choice was practical. Budget, convenience, and proximity to… well, everything I thought I needed to be close to. The "E470" part? Sounds like a robot's way of remembering a highway. Already, I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed.
Day 1: Colorado or Bust (and my sanity…)
- 7:00 AM: Alarm - THE DEVIL’S TRUMPET. God, I hate alarms. Especially when they’re the canned “uplifting” variety. I hit snooze. Twice. Maybe three times. Look, I'm on vacation, okay?
- 7:45 AM: Breakfast – "Complimentary" at the Hotel. Okay, "breakfast" is a stretch. Scrambled eggs that look vaguely yellow, suspicious sausage links, stale bagels. I grab a yogurt cup and a sad-looking orange. This ain’t the Four Seasons, folks. My stomach already grumbled.
- 8:30 AM – The Checklist from Hell. Pack the car (ugh, the car!), check the map (gotta love Google Maps, even if I'm directionally challenged), double-check the reservations ((wait, did I actually confirm the… ah, crap)). Okay, deep breaths.
- 9:00 AM – On the Road Again! This is where the adventure truly begins. Except the car is packed like a Tetris game, the GPS already seems to be arguing with itself, and I swear I forgot something. Probably underwear.
- 9:30 AM – The First Wrong Turn (of many, I suspect). Denver traffic is… well, it's there. I think I'm going the wrong way, I have an urge to play "chicken" with a semi-truck, the GPS and the driver and I are debating whether we should take the highway or the backroads.
- 10:30 AM – Arrive in Parker, or somewhere nearby? Finally, the Holiday Inn is in sight! Parking (a tiny, victorious moment). Check-in… smooth as butter (thank you IHG Rewards!) The room? Decent. Clean enough. Smells faintly of chlorine and… hope? I'm hoping for a decent shower before the day's shenanigans begin.
Afternoon: Parker, Here I Come (or something like that)
- 1:00 PM: Lunch – Trying to be "Local". Found a little diner nearby. Menu is a mile long. I ordered a Reuben. It's huge. I ate the whole thing. Maybe a little too much.
- 2:00 PM: Parker’s Downtown? Okay, so "downtown" is more of a "Main Street-ish" vibe. Cute, though! I have a wander. Found a used bookshop. Heaven. Snagged a well-loved copy of a cheesy mystery novel. Instant escapism.
- 3:30 PM: Shopping Spree! Okay, "shopping spree" is another overstatement. I bought a t-shirt with a llama on it (because Colorado, duh). And a coffee. Needed the caffeine.
- 4:30 PM: Pool time! I saw the pool. It looked inviting. The kids in the pool screamed like banshees. I turned around. Decided to lay on the bed and read.
Evening: Dinner and a (Potential) Disaster
- 6:00 PM: Dinner Dilemma. The restaurant choices in Parker seem… limited, and I'm already exhausted. I end up at chain restaurant. The food is fine. Average. Meh. The company? My own. Which, frankly, is sometimes the best kind.
- 7:30 PM: The Mystery Novel! Okay, I'm in the book. The mystery is intriguing. The characters? A bit cliché. The author? A master of the dramatic. I'm hooked.
- 9:00 PM: The Hotel Room Saga (and the worst thing that happened) I go back to my room. I have a bit of a headache. I'm getting ready for bed. Then the worst thing that happened, happened. I locked myself out of my room. I had to call the front desk, wait and, finally, get back in. I was more frustrated than I thought.
Day 2: Adventures (Mostly Avoided)
- 7:30 AM: Breakfast/Repeat. More of the same… except I was slightly more organized. Maybe slightly.
- 8:30 AM: Hiking… or is it? I planned to go hiking. The trails sounded beautiful! But after looking at the map again, I wimped out. I’m not a morning person, and those peaks looked… intimidating. So, I did some more reading. And drank more coffee.
- 10:00 AM: Museum time. The museum had the Parker History Museum. Okay, the history was interesting, but I was expecting something a bit more "action-packed." I read everything. I didn't understand everything. But I saw a lot of things.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch! I'm thinking of my sandwich from yesterday. I also thought of the hotel breakfast, but I still wanted a hot meal. I picked a Mexican restaurant. I found a new favorite.
- 2:00 PM: Drive to the mountains. I decide to go. But the GPS kept telling me to turn around. I drove back to the hotel.
- 4:00 PM: Pool? I decide to give the pool another chance. The kid-banshees weren't there. It was actually pleasant. I might have taken a nap.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner and Movie. I ordered pizza. I watched a movie about a cat. The perfect end to a day of avoiding adventure and being comfortable.
Day 3: Farewell, Parker (Maybe?)
- 7:00 AM: Breakfast, and the Sad Truth. I eat the last of the "complimentary" offerings. Knowing I'm leaving.
- 8:00 AM: Packing – The Art of the Tetris Game, Revisited. Will I remember all my stuff? Will the car explode this time? (The answer, I bet, is yes to at least one of these questions.)
- 9:00 AM: Check-out – Relatively Painless. The staff at the Holiday Inn were all genuinely lovely, and the whole check out was smooth!
- 9:30 AM: On the Road… Again. Goodbye, Denver. Goodbye, Parker. The road is calling, and I'm ready for the next adventure. Or at least, I'm ready to try to be ready.
Final Thoughts:
Parker, Colorado… It wasn’t the most thrilling of adventures, but it was real. I got to recharge. I got to zone out. I got to make mistakes and laugh at myself. I got to enjoy the freedom of being a solitary traveler.
And that, my friends, is what makes travel so wonderful. The good, the bad, the messy, the completely imperfect. It's all part of the story. And sometimes, a slightly-less-than-perfect trip is just as memorable as the perfect one. Would I visit Parker again? Maybe. But next time, I think I'll actually try the hiking… or at least, look at the mountains.
Veracruz's Hidden Gem: Holiday Inn Centro Historico - Unforgettable Stay!
So, what *is* this whole thing about anyway? Like, why are we even *here*?
Honestly? Even *I* don't always know. It's like… you ever just start building with LEGOs, and then suddenly you've got a space station, a pirate ship, and a tiny little horse all crammed together? That's kinda how this feels. **I'm winging it!** We’re just trying to make sense of the world, one messy question at a time. Think of it as a digital therapy session, except instead of a therapist, you've got… me. Don't worry, I'm *mostly* sane. Mostly.
Okay, hypothetically speaking, if this were a 'thing,' how would it *work*? Like, what's the *process*?
Ugh, processes. My nemesis! Okay, fine, here's the *semblance* of a process. Someone (that's you, probably, right now, thinking "hmmm, this is interesting and/or slightly chaotic" ) asks a question. A *good* question. (I'm a sucker for a good question). I, in my infinite (cough) wisdom, then... well, I *answer* it. Sometimes I hit it out of the park. Sometimes I whiff so hard I end up stuck in the dugout for hours, muttering to myself. The truth is, I'm still figuring it out as I go. The beauty, or the *curse* of this, is that it's fluid. Changeable. Messy. And that's the *fun* part – the unpredictability!
And what if I ask a *stupid* question? Like, embarrassingly dumb?
Honey, please! The *only* stupid question is the one you don’t ask. Seriously. I’ve probably asked dumber questions about my toaster oven, and believe me, that thing is more complicated than it looks. Besides, I’m a professional at looking dumb, it's a talent! Plus, you’d be surprised. Even the seemingly dumb questions can spark some of the most amazing conversations. So… fire away! I promise not to judge. (Much.)
But like, *really* though, what's the point? Why bother?
Oooh, that's a heavy one! Okay, deep breath... I think the point is... connection. Or, maybe it's just me trying to make sense of the world, and hoping someone else finds it interesting. Maybe it's the illusion of control when the rest of my life feels like a runaway train. It could be anything.
Okay, I had a *really* bad day once, where everything went wrong, and I just needed an outlet. I started rambling, and it turned out that it was funny, and cathartic. It was the only thing that stopped me from throwing my computer out the window. Seriously. Sometimes, just the act of asking... and answering... can lead to something good.
Look, I'm no guru. I don't have all the answers. Far from it! But, maybe, just maybe, if we can laugh a little, learn a little, and connect a little, then it's all worth it. And maybe, just maybe, it helps *me* along the way too.
So, you're basically doing all this for *free*? Are you crazy?
Well, yeah. *Mostly* free. Look, I'd love to get paid to ramble, but hey, I don't have a trust fund or anything! It's a labor of love. Or, you know, a slightly obsessive hobby. Sometimes, late at night, I wonder if I'm just screaming into the void, but then I get an email, or a comment, and it reminds me that someone, somewhere, is actually reading this stuff. And that’s… nice. Honestly. The thought of helping someone... that's the real payment. (Don't tell my landlord!)
How do you even come up with this stuff? Is this all just… improv?
Improv? Nah. Total chaos! Well, *mostly*. I guess there's a *tiny* bit of planning, but I usually let the question lead the way. I might research a bit, but mostly I just… *think*. I let my brain wander, recall random memories (like the time I accidentally set the oven on fire making toast), and go from there. It's a very organic process, let's just say that. And sometimes, things just go… off the rails. Oh, you have no idea!
Okay, I'm in. Now what? How do I actually *do* this thing?
Easy! Ask a question. Hit the 'submit' button. Buckle up. Wait. And hope for the best. That's basically it. Expect a little chaos, a few tangents, maybe some typos (I'm a *terrible* typer). But hopefully, you'll also find something interesting, or at least… entertaining. And if you don't? Well, try again! The beauty of this is there’s no right or wrong. It's all about the journey, baby!
